Showing posts with label Beauty Pageant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Beauty Pageant. Show all posts

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Sarah Palin Hypocrisy Poll Winner

     Which fundamentalist Christian Republican beauty queen is the biggest hypocrite?

     All of you heretics voted, and the results are in.

In last place, with 1% of the vote: Lauren Ashley

Tied for second place, each with 15% of the vote:
AND

The winner, with an apropos 69% of the vote: Sarah Palin

Be sure to vote in the Holy Blog's latest poll located in the left hand column of the Holy Blog.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Hypocrisy Poll: Carrie Prejean vs. Lauren Ashley vs. Sarah Palin

     Fundamentalist Christian beauty hypocrisy queen and tea-bagger extraordinaire Carrie Prejean is at it again.  The masturbation-movie star and Christian Right's pinup girl for condemning same sex couple's equal marriage rights is opposed to so much more, but now, Prejean is the one being sued.

     TMZ reports:
     Carrie Prejean isn't just opposed to gay marriage, she's also opposed to paying more than $64,000 to the "Christian-focused" PR firm who helped her out, this according to a new lawsuit.  The group -- A. Larry Ross Communications -- claims Prejean contacted them back in April, 2009 and logged "hundreds of hours" helping Prejean spread her "biblically correct" message.  But according to the lawsuit, filed earlier this month in Texas, Prejean's actions were the opposite of Christian -- because she never paid the $64,857 bill.
     My guess is that Prejean thinks she's being "biblically correct" in not paying her bills.  Leviticus 25:36-37 says:
     Do not exact interest from your countryman either in money or in kind, but out of fear of God let him live with you.  You are to lend him neither money at interest nor food at a profit.  [Also stated in Exodus, Deuteronomy, Nehemiah, Psalms, Proverbs, and Ezekiel.] 
     Prejean probably interprets this passage to mean that a good anit-gay Christian doesn't have to pay her bills.  That greedy PR firm just wants profit!  They should be opening their doors to let her live with them (a.k.a. represent her) for free.  That gluttonous (not that she would use a word that large), biblically correct PR firm is just another attempt of the liberal media and gay mafia to try and take her down.

     Prejean is a hypocrite!   


     The Holy Blog wants to know what you think.  

    Who is the bigger Hypocrisy Queen?  Carrie Prejean or Lauren Ashley?  And just for kicks let's throw former beauty queen Sarah Palin in there.

     Vote in the left column of the Holy Blog.

    Carrie's greatest hit/gay bash:
     Well I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one way or the other. We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And, you know what, in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman, no offense to anybody out there. But that’s how I was raised and I believe that it should be between a man and a woman.
     Ashely's greatest bash:
     The Bible says that marriage is between a man and a woman. In Leviticus it says, 'If man lies with mankind as he would lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death and their blood shall be upon them.' The Bible ispretty black and white.  I feel like God [sic] himself created mankind and he loves everyone, and he has the best for everyone. If he says that having sex with someone of your same gender is going to bring death upon you, that's a pretty stern warning, and he knows more than we do about life.

     Here's what Palin, Prejean, Ashley's Christian-authored New Testament has to say about how women should dress:
     Women should adorn themselves with proper conduct, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hairstyles and gold ornaments, or pearls, or expensive clothes. (1 Timothy 2:9)
     Your adornment should not be an external one: braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or dressing in fine clothes,but rather the hidden character of the heart, expressed in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and calm disposition, which is precious in the sight of God.  For this is also how the holy women who hoped in God once used to adorn themselves and were subordinate to their husbands. (1 Peter 3:2-5)
     So much for the unification of church and pageant.

Image credits:
Upper two Carrie Prejean photos via TMZ.
Palin bikini grunt photo via StraightTalkExpressWatch
Lauren Ashely photo via The Frisky and FoxNews.com.
Bikini Prejean photo via Socialite Life.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Snow What? Praying for Beauty: It Really Works!



     Who's the fairest of them all?

     According to god-will-kill-the-gays Ms. Beverly Hills 2010 Lauren Ashley, if you want to stay young there are two options: plastic surgery and/or prayer. 

     In the embedded below from Buying Beauty TV, Ashley bashes a friend's breast enlargement and then prothelytizes a plastic surgeon with her mother's spiritual practices.  Her mother is fifty-one, but you would never know it.  For she has the ultimate youth and beauty preserving weapon on her side: prayer.

     All one need do is sit in god's presence praying, and she will come out looking brand new like Ms. My-Friend's-Boob-Job-Is-Over-the-Top's mother.  Translated into another tongue, Ms. Buying Beauty's  response to youth-regenerating prayer: "Allhu Akbar!"

     Thanks for the invention, good Christian Lauren.  You get credit for adding Beauty Prayer to my types of prayer list

     I have no doubt that your god has nothing better to do than sit around and wave his magic finger over your aging mother so she can look young again.

Ms. Cafeteria Biblical Literalist



     That was so 1990.  Welcome to 2010, where beauty queens helping cancerous children and abused Alzhiemer's patients is like so out.  If you want to be a beauty queen today, than you have to like play the media and the Christian Right, everywhere like such as, and what better way to do so than to make your platform bashing gays in god's name.

     But, guess what?  The gays aren't going to sit back and take it. 

     In the embedded video below from Countdown, Dan Savage calls self-proclaimed Miss Beverly Hills 2010 Lauren Ashley to task for her cafeteria biblical literalist views that support her god-will-kill-gays-for-their-sin platform.  Apparently, she hasn't read the entire bible, not even the chapters surrounding the verse she proof-texted from Leviticus.  If she had, she'd realize that she was in trouble for eating uncircumsized bananas.  Ms. Ashley's BFF Paris Hilton would have to be put to death because she's not a virgin.  And, what does the bible say about cosmetics, jewely, and plastic surgery?  Sinner!

     I, for one, hope that vacuus morons like Ms. Pasedena Zip Code continue to come out of the closet against gay rights, because it shows the nation just how ridiculous their logic and beliefs are.  She is so dumb that in one breath she gives people all the justification that they need to kill gays in god's name, and then in the next breath talks about how she has so many gay friends that she cares about.  Disconnect.  Disconnect.  Disconnect! 

     Ignorance breeds religious violence, Ms. Nip Tuck USAPrecious religious beliefs, such as yours, are the basis for both the illegal and legal killing of gays around the worldUganda, Somalia, Iran, etc. and all in the name of religion. 

     Let's hear what your gay "friends" have to say about your deceitful self-promotion and using gays' right to life as tool for your aspirations to be the next Carrie Prejean.

     Roll the tape: "9021-N0"

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Beauty Queen Makes god Vomit

     Earlier this week, Towleroad reported that another California beauty queen, Miss Beverly Hills 2010 Lauren Ashley, not only quoted the Christian bible to justify discrimination against same sex couples, but also browbeat sinners, like homosexuals, with threats of death.  Ms. Ashley preached the following line to FOX News:
      "The Bible says that marriage is between a man and a woman. In Leviticus it says, 'If man lies with mankind as he would lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death and their blood shall be upon them.' The Bible is pretty black and white.  I feel like God [sic] himself created mankind and he loves everyone, and he has the best for everyone. If he says that having sex with someone of your same gender is going to bring death upon you, that's a pretty stern warning, and he knows more than we do about life.'"
     Well, guess what else is black and white, Ms. Ashley?  The print of the Los Angeles Times that caught you in a lie:
    In a statement Wednesday, the city [Beverly Hills] said it was shocked by Ashley's description of herself as "Miss Beverly Hills." The city "does not sponsor a beauty pageant and has no association with Miss California USA," the statement said. "As such, there should be no individual claiming the title of Miss Beverly Hills."
    The city's statement said Ashley lives in Pasadena and "does not represent Beverly Hills in any capacity."
    "We are dismayed by any potential association with the city of Beverly Hills, which has a long history of tolerance and respect," Mayor Nancy Krasne said.
     It seems that good Christian Lauren doesn't even know her Ten Commandments.  Hell!  Even most heretics know that her god forbids bearing false witness in his name, since we are forced to read these commandments every time we enter into some of our public-funded government buildings.  Most people also know that homosexuality isn't even mentioned in the Ten Commandments, but adultery is.  Of course, we don't hear good Christians like Ms. Faux-Beverly Hills calling for constitutional amendments to outlaw adultery in the name of preserving the sanctity of marriage and doing what their god commands.

     She also doesn't know her New Testament, for Revelation 21:8 states: "All liars, their part `shall be' in the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone."  It's comforting to know that Carrie Prejean will have company at her topless lakeside photo-shoot in hell.

     Here are just a few of the passages in Leviticus that Ms. "Does Not Represent Beverly Hills In Any Capacity" should also pay attention to, for there's a good chance her male god  might be tapping her with the death-stick.

Liar, liar, pants on fire!  
     Leviticus 19:11-12.  "You shall not lie or speak falsely to one another.  You shall not swear falsely by my name, thus profaning the name of your God."

Got red meat?  
     Leviticus 17:14.  "You shall not partake of the blood of any meat.  Since the life of every living body is its blood, anyone who partakes of it shall be cut off."
     Leviticus 19:26.  "Do not eat meat with the blood still in it."

Begging for it when she's not-so-fresh.
      Leviticus 18:19.  "You shall not approach a woman to have intercourse with her while she is unclean from menstruation."
     Leviticus 20:18.  "If a man lies in sexual intercourse with a woman during her menstrual period, both of them shall be cut off from their people, because they have laid bare the flowing fountain of her blood."

On mixing and matching.
     Leviticus 19:19.  "Do not breed any of your domestic animals with others of a different species; do not sow a field of yours with two different kinds of seed; and do not put on a garment woven with two different kinds of thread."

Are your bananas circumcised?
     Leviticus 19:23-25.  "When you come into the land and plant any fruit tree there, first look upon its fruit as if it were uncircumcised.  For three years, while its fruit remains uncircumcised, it may not be eaten.  In the fourth year, however, all of its fruit shall be sacred to the Lord as a thanksgiving feast to him.  Not until the fifth year may you eat its fruit."

Having sex with a slave girl is morally better than sex with a freed or redeemed slave...what?
     Leviticus 19:20.  "If a man has carnal relations with a female slave who has already been living with another man but has not yet been redeemed or given her freedom, they shall be punished but not put to death, because she is not free."

Equal rights for illegal aliens.  Yey!
     Leviticus 19:33-34.  "When an alien resides with you in your land, do not molest him.  You shall treat the alien who resides with you no differently than the natives born among you; have the same love for him as for yourself; for you too were once aliens in a foreign land."

Kill back-talking children...now that's a time out!
     Leviticus 20:9.  "Anyone who curses his father or mother shall be put to death."

Kill the mountain men and farm boys, and their willing cows, too.
     Leviticus 20:15.  "If a man has carnal relations with an animal, the man shall be put to death, and the animal shall be slain."

No donkey shows!  Sorry. Tijuana.
     Leviticus 20:16.  "If a woman goes up to any animal to mate with it, the woman and the animal shall be slain; let them both be put to death."

Tattoo, Taboo
     Leviticus 19:28.  "Do not tattoo yourselves."


Do it ALL, or else.
     Leviticus 20:22.  "Be careful to observe all my statutes and all my decrees; otherwise the land where I am bringing you to dwell will vomit you out."