Showing posts with label Apocalypse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Apocalypse. Show all posts

Saturday, May 21, 2011

For Harold Camping...



Postscript:

     The world didn't end and guess who's millions of tax-exempt dollars richer? 

     CNN reports:
     At the center of it all, Camping's organization, Family Radio, is perfectly happy to take your money -- and in fact, received $80 million in contributions between 2005 and 2009. Camping founded Family Radio, a nonprofit Christian radio network based in Oakland, Calif. with about 65 stations across the country, in 1958.

Friday, May 20, 2011

REM Music Tribute to Harold Camping's Homophobic End of the World "Prophecy"

     Have you noticed the billboards around the world?  Be afraid!  "Judgement Day" is upon us.

     Again.

     I'm not talking family-values politician Arnold Schwarzenegger's spousal termination and judgment day.

     Tomorrow, May 21, 2011, is going to be the start of the five-month Christian "apocalypse."  The Christian making this absurd prediction is Harold Camping of  Family Radio.  
Don't forget to purchase your celebratory t-shirt.
     Of course, Camping long ago discovered the lucrative nature of rapturous merchandising. He wrongly predicted the end of the world to happen back in 1994.  Why anyone continued to follow him is beyond me.  I guess you just gotta "have faith."

     Guess which minority is being scapegoated as bringing on the "end times."   Ding.  Ding.  Ding.   Went the bell.  You guessed it: Gay Pride.  (Evil laugh.)  Check out homophobic Mr. Camping's incredible document, "Gay Pride: Planned by God as a Sign of the End."  Don't be surprised if FamilyRadio.com  has crashed.  What an omen that would be. 

     If you are a heretic, who will be left behind after the rapture for five months of unattended sin-time, don't worry.  You can join the half a million hellions who are attending the "Post Rapture Looting" party on Facebook.  Tonight, I'm camping out on Rodeo Drive.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

The BP Oil Spill, Religion, Blame, the Apocalypse, and the Will of the gods

     Whenever there is a major disaster, of either natural or human making, religious folks feel the need to use that disaster to promote their understanding of their individual gods' will.  The BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is currently that rapturous religious appetite for blame. 

     Carl Gallups of the Hickory Hammock Baptist Church in Milton, Florida, thinks the oil spill is his Christian god's judgement on the United States because President Obama announced that the U.S.A. will no longer automatically support Israel in the United Nations. (Gallups also blamed hurricane Katrina on U.S.-Israli relations.)  Here's the video that explains how Gallups knows the mind of his god.


     Other Christian fundamentalists are blaming those with insufficient faith for the oil spill, which is the beginning of the apocalypse (Newsweek):
     Now blogs on the Christian fringe are abuzz with possibility that the oil spill is the realization of Revelation 8:8–11. “The second angel blew his trumpet, and something like a great mountain, burning with fire, was thrown into the sea. A third of the sea became blood, a third of the living creatures in the sea died, and a third of the ships were destroyed … A third of the waters became wormwood, and many died from the water, because it was made bitter.” According to Revelation, in other words, something terrible happens to the world’s water, a punishment to those of insufficient faith.
     Lisa Miller of Newsweek blames the greed of Republican and the oil lobby:
     Yet through a biblical lens, it’s hard to see the oil spill as anything but God’s punishment for greed and a disrespect of Creation—and both of those sins fall mostly on the shoulders of the Republicans, who have been aggressively lobbying for more offshore drilling, without, obviously, ensuring that appropriate safeguards are in place. (Remember “Drill, baby, drill”? According to OpenSecrets.org, Republicans in the last decade have far outstripped Democrats in donations from big oil, sometimes by a factor of four.) So the question for biblical literalists becomes one of political alliances. Does God wreak apocalyptic wrath on members of one’s own party—or only on the opposition?
     Yet, others, including President Obama in his address to the nation concerning the spill and Sarah Palin on Twitter, are turning to their gods for help, praying for an end the oil spill and help for those in its path.

     So whose god is in charge?

     Not the god of Pensacola's whitest beaches of the world.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Rush Limbaugh Knows the Mind of god Claiming Iceland Eruption Is Heavenly Condemnation of Healthcare Reform


     Methodist, Republican, Talk-show Host, and tea-bagger Rush Limbaugh's god hates the 43.8 million American people who go without healthcare insurance so much, that in order to punish the world for the passage of President Obama's healthcare reform bill, god willed this week's volcanic eruption in Iceland causing the worst disruption in air travel since World War II

     According to Rush, it's either the end of the world or his god hates healthcare reform.  That's logical.  Right?

     If Rush is right and there is a god that was revealed through the loving, forgiving, prophet Jesus, who went out of his way to cure the lepers, epileptics, and mentally ill, whom society had cast aside, deeming unclean and letting them rot to death rather than giving them aid, then this god would be against providing healthcare to the poor?  I'm not sure that follows, Rush.

     Of course, Rush could validly, according to Christian scriptures, believe in a god that is vindictive, promotes genocide and filicide, and demands strict adherence to the law of the theocratic monarchy, then Rush could be right.  If this is the god of the universe, then punishing air traffic controllers for the sin of caring for the poor makes complete sense.

     Here's the hate-monger's quote (via Think Progress):
     You know, a couple of days after the health care bill had been signed into law Obama ran around all over the country saying, “Hey, you know, I’m looking around. The earth hadn’t opened up. There’s no Armageddon out there. The birds are still chirping.” I think the earth has opened up. God may have replied. This volcano in Iceland has grounded more airplanes — airspace has more affected — than even after 9/11 because of this plume, because of this ash cloud over Northern and Western Europe. At the Paris airport they’re telling people to head to the train station to catch trains out of France, and when people get to the train station they’re telling people, “There aren’t any seats until at least April 22nd,” basically a week from now. It’s got everybody in a shutdown. Earth has opened up. I don’t know whether it’s a rebirth or Armageddon. Hopefully it’s a rebirth, God speaking.
     Of course, Christians and Limbaugh devotees can claim that he's just kidding, etc., but they won't get on his case for distorting their god and using jokes about their god for his political purposes.  Hypocrites.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Christian Militia Busted by FBI for Plotting Insurrection against Government

     As the old hymn goes: "We are one in the Spirit [sic], we are one in the Lord [sic].  We pray that all unity may one day be restored and they'll know we are Christians by our guns, by our guns.  Yes, they'll know we are Christian by our love (of guns)."
Photo from Hutaree.com.

     Last week, self-proclaimed new-Isaiah Sarah Palin wrote on Twitter: "Commonsense Conservatives & lovers of America: 'Don't Retreat, Instead - RELOAD!' Pls see my Facebook page."  This week a group of right-wing Christians heeded her advice, and they are the ones going to jail.

     A right-wing Christian group named the Hutaree (a word the group's founder David B. Stone Sr. made up that means "Christian warriors"), says Jesus would lock and load and fire at the U.S. government.

     The Hutaree Web site features the motto “Preparing for the end time battles to keep the testimony of Jesus Christ alive” and a video showing rifle-toting men in camouflage running through woods and firing weapons. “Jesus wanted us to be ready to defend ourselves using the sword and stay alive using equipment,” the Web site says, adding, “The Hutaree will one day see its enemy and meet him on the battlefield if so God wills it.”
     Jesus wanted the Hutaree to use "equipment" to incite violence.  I don't remember that word being in the bible, just like stem cell research, abortion, global warming, evolution, etc., you know, the things right-wing groups claim the bible explicitly says are immoral or fake.  Proof-texting hypocrites!

     Thankfully, the FBI busted the Hutaree before they could start their parousia-inducing attack on the government.  (Palin also believes the apocalypse is near.)  The Times:
     In an indictment against the nine [Hutaree] unsealed on Monday, the Justice Department said they were part of a group of apocalyptic Christian militants who were plotting to kill law enforcement officers in hopes of inciting an antigovernment uprising, the latest in a recent surge in right-wing militia activity.  
     The court filing said the group, which called itself the Hutaree, planned to kill an unidentified law enforcement officer and then bomb the funeral caravan using improvised explosive devices based on designs used against American troops by insurgents in Iraq.  
    Why is it that if people of color or Muslims insight violence against the government it's call terrorism, but if a group of white Christians do it's called a militia?

     Eight defendants were arrested over the weekend in raids in Michigan, Ohio and Indiana, the Justice Department said. The authorities arrested the Stones’ eldest son, Joshua M. Stone, 21, shortly before 9 p.m. Monday in Pittsford, Mich., about 20 miles west of his family’s home, an F.B.I. spokeswoman, Sandra Berchtold, said.
     I say lock them up and load 'em into the maximum security loony bin (especially for the mullet).   


Friday, February 19, 2010

An Atheist's Guide to Lent: Part Three, Almsgiving

     Welcome back to An Atheist's Guide to Lent: How to Lose god and Find Peace in Forty Days or Less!  

     We've already covered the Lenten tenants of fasting and prayer, so that leave us atheist almsgiving.  Many religious people have been conditioned to believe human beings are intrinsically concupiscent, "fallen,"  and sinfully inclined and that without religious salvation, humans can't do good.  Well, that just isn't so.  We non-believers have consciences and do good deeds.  Join us for forty day.  Give a forty day god-fast and atheist almsgiving a try!

Almsgiving
  1. From your atheist "prayer" exercises considering the frail mysteries of unknowing, life, the planet, and the universe, look at how you interact with the world and ask yourself how you want to be remembered, known.   Honor those you love who have died, by keeping them alive in your actions, embodying the best of their essence and learning from their shortcomings and mistakes.  Do good because it honors them, it honors the future, and it honors the every person with whom you come into contact.  
  2. Give credit where credit is due.  Quit blaming the devil, sin, or evil, and admit that you are the one that is capable of hurting others.  Quit putting off changing your ways for the better to the next life, because god will forgive you.  There will be no divine "do over."  Accept yourself, as you are, here and now.  Acknowledge your gifts and limitations, and then go do what is good, because you only have one life to make a difference.  
  3. Give alms to future generations by doing something that will decrease your carbon footprint in the world, because to a non-theist this is the only world, the one chance we've got.  There will be no parousia, no apocalyptic cleansing, and no rebirth into eternal life for the "righteous."  Planet Earth is at risk thanks to "dominion" theology, which gives us the "right" to use the planet for whatever purpose we see fit, and hypocritical religious fundamentalists, who decry "sinful" scientific knowledge (evolution, psychology, global warming, medicine, etc.) but are quick to use scientific advances (swords, guns, bombs, airplanes, biological weapons, etc.) to kill in the names of their gods.
  4. Research aid organizations that are god-free, that give aid to all persons without any imposition of personal religious beliefs or expectation that those receiving the aid must conform or convert.  Give because it helps others, not because you fear partial eternity in some purgatorial suburb of hell, while your loving, omnipotent, and compassionate god watches from a heavenly perch until satisfied with the torture you've endured and welcomes you into "loving" bliss.
     Thus ends our journey through the Lenten practices of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving.  If any of your other free thinkers, post-theists, agnostics, and atheists have other prescriptions for these "Lenten" practices, please add them to the comments below.
     So, what do you believers have to lose?  You can always quit and return to your pre-Lenten ways at any time, but maybe you'll come to see that non-believers are capable of choosing and doing good..  
     What's holding you back.  I dare you.   Give up god for Lent.