Sunday, January 31, 2010

And Now, for Something Completely Different...

A Reading from the book of Psalms according to Heretic Tom:

Under the Line

I was never able to tell you that my line is crooked, it is.
My pens are prisms, and my signage, Pig Latin.

I was never able to tell you that your head is a watermelon, it is.
I spit out the seeds, and they don’t grow when you swallow.

I was never able to tell you that the firmament is malignant, it is.
Cows drink scotch, and scotch makes the incense rise.

I was never able to tell you that they promised me black and white, they did.
But even dogs are born without collars, and elephants eat their young.

I was never able to tell you that they horded the candy, they did.
And mastodons cause acne, and boobies breathe through their mouths.

I was never able to tell you that they roped me into bed, they did.
The price was my first bicycle, and the gratuity, my purloined helmet.

I was never able to tell you that they drafted me to bury the dead, I did.
Tragedy was my blowjob, but formaldehyde has a half-life.

I was never able to tell you that they coaxed me to intone, I did.
I sounded like an apple martini, so they closed out my bar tab.

I was never able to tell you that when they told me to eat shit, I did.
It tasted like Baby Jesus cooing, but was impervious to floss.

I was never able to tell you,
Because you stopped reading after the second stanza.