Tuesday, December 29, 2009

5th Hate of Christmas: the Gift Giving Game

     The 5th Hate of Christmas According to Heretic Dr. Blue Devil:


     I hate the Christmas gift giving game. This reason for the season is the cause of many headaches and stress.

     Round one is trying to figure out who to buy presents for this year. This round is part one of the offensive tactic. You anticipate who will give you a gift so you are prepared to avoid guilt and embarrassment by handing them a gift in return.

     Round two is receiving a gift that you hadn’t accounted for in your offensive maneuvers of round one. At that point we make excuses, or say that we left “your” gift at home or buy some time to regroup and support our defense.


     Round three is more like round zero because it occurs at all points on the game board. This round is the value card. This stress of gift giving is an undertone that removes most of the pleasure out of the whole game, if there is any, no matter what round you are playing. Did I spend enough? Is my gift equal to the value of their gift? Did I spend the same amount on this person as that person?

     The three round gift giving game: come out fighting when you hear the bell, or the Christmas carols that start at Halloween.