When a priest-friend of mine, Fr. Black, was in the
pit of depression and struggling over whether to leave the priesthood, he
reached out and confided in a priest-mentor, breaking down in a torrent of despair.
His priest-mentor did not respond, “I’m sorry that you’re hurting,” or, “What can I do to help?” but rather, “How’s your prayer life?”
Fr. Black received no compassion, no understanding and no help from this canned “pastoral” response to pain. His priest-mentor was really saying, “If you just
prayed harder, if you just
believed more, if you really
trusted god, if you were just a good holy boy like you were
formed to be in seminary, you wouldn’t be so fucked up.”
The priest-mentor told Fr. Black that he would
pray for him, and Fr. Black returned to his rectory feeling horrendous and all the more reluctant to ask anyone else for help.
Fr. Black is
no longer a priest.
As my fellow heretics in the
Freedom from Religion Foundation say: “Nothing fails like
prayer.” All types, all the time.
So, how’s your prayer life?