Friday, October 9, 2009

I Hate the Health Insurance Lobby


A Reading from the First Letter of Heretic Tom to the Americans,
1Tom, called to be an apostate of Jesus Capitalist by the will of Reason, and Poverty our brother, 2to the church of Healthcare that is in America, to you who call yourselves sanctified in the Culture of Life, call yourselves holy, with all those everywhere who call upon the name of your Lord Fear, your Lord, not ours.  3Hate be with you and discord from Fear your Father and your Lord Jesus Capitalist.
10I urge you, Americans, in the name of your Lord Jesus Capitalist, that all of you agree in what you say, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and in the same purpose with the Poor, the Orphan, and the Uninsured.   11For it has been reported to me about you, my Americans, by Olbermann’s people, that there are rivalries among you.  12I mean that each of you is saying “I belong to America,” or “You belong to Socialism,” or “You belong to O’Reilly,” or “I belong to Obama.” 
13Is America divided?  Was the Mandate crucified for you?  Or were you baptized in the name of CIGNA?  14I give thanks to Obama that I baptized none of you except Specter and Powell, 15so none can say you were baptized in my name.  16 (I baptized the household of Hillary also; beyond that I do not know whether I dipped anyone else.)  17For the Uninsured did not send me to represent Glen Beck but to preach equality, and not with the ascent of human ignorance so that the cross of the Uninsured might be emptied of its meaning.
18The message of the Uninsured is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to you, who are being lobbied, it is the power of Money.  19For it is written:
“I will destroy the wisdom of the elected, and the compassion of the conservative I will set aside.”
20Where is the wise one?  Where is the Teddy?  Where is the FDR of this age?  Has not Death made the wisdom of the Free Market foolish?  21For since the wisdom the Lobby, the Uninsured did not come to know medical care through Big Insurance, for it was the will of the Lobby through the pocketbooks of Washington to forget those who have not healthcare. 
22For Republicans demand Freedom and Democrats look for Equality, 23but we allow 120 Uninsured to be crucified each day, a stumbling block to Americans and foolishness to Canadians.  24But those who don’t want people to die, Democrats and Republicans alike, a Public Option for the Uninsured and the wisdom of loving thy neighbor!  25For the foolishness of the Public Option is wiser than Corporate Insurance, and the weakness of Obama is stronger than Limbaugh’s strength.
The word of the Blog.
R.  Thanks be to Fear.

Hate Poll #1 Results

What do you hate the most?
  • Butterflies: 6%
  • Ice Cream: 6%
  • Babies: 18%
  • Oprah: 68%
I'm shocked, my children.  I thought everyone loved Oprah. 

Image Credit: Oprah.com